Forgiving Fathers

Forgiving Fathers
from Father’s Day 2008
adapted from Poet Dick Lourie
There are few examples of good fathers. In nature, in scripture, in society, or in media a good father is hard to find. The poet Dick Lourie writes, “If we forgive our fathers what is left?” Withholding forgiveness from our fathers can serve as protection against their failures. If we give that up, what do we have left? Let us place these questions in the hands of God and ask for mercy:
Maybe for leaving us too often
or forever when we were little
Lord, have mercy
Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage
or making us nervous because there seemed never to be any rage there at all
Lord, have mercy
Maybe for marrying or not marrying our mothers
for divorcing or not divorcing our mothers
Lord, have mercy

Maybe for their excesses of warmth or coldness, for pushing or leaning, for shutting doors, for speaking only through layers of cloth or never speaking or never being silent

Lord, have mercy

In our age or in theirs or in their deaths,
Lord, may we forgive our fathers
saying it to them or not saying it,
Lord, may we forgive our fathers

God, we trust in your ability to redeem anything, anyone, any father and any father-wound.

Thank you for the fathers that you have given us and for the gifts of your goodness you given us through them.

For the miracle that fathers bring their paycheck home or come home at all

Lord, we are so grateful

For the miracle of fathers who are present with their children,

loving them with strength, but not too much strength

and tenderness, but not too much tenderness

Lord, we are so grateful

For all those who have given us a taste of good fathering

birth fathers, adopted fathers, borrowed father and fathers for a season

Lord, we are so grateful

In our age or in theirs or in their deaths

Lord, may we thank our fathers

Saying it to them or not saying it

Lord, may we thank our fathers

Amen

Gospel Reading – “The Extravagant Father” – Luke 15

Eucharistic Narrative based on Luke 15

Seeing you a long ways off, God is filled with compassion. God runs to meet you here, catches you in an embrace and kisses you, and kisses you. We try to confess:

Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worth being called your child.

But it’s no use. God has already forgiven you before you could even speak the words and a homecoming celebration has begun. This is the feast that shows us the fathering heart of God.

Here, Jesus breaks bread and says, “Remember, this is the gift of myself. I’m giving myself for you.”

And here Jesus takes wine and says, “Remember, this is the gift of relationship. You are forgiven. My connection to my Father is now your connection to my Father.”

And here you will receive the acceptance, the attention, the guidance, and the freedom that you desired from your earthly father. Come and find it met here in the embrace of God given to you in bread and wine. Welcome home.





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By ryan • Nov 18th, 2008 • Category: Worship Reflections

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ryan is community curate, theologian artist, Bonnie's lover, baby's daddy, and God's beloved.
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  • Martin P. Serna
    Hey, you guys up north have hit it right on the button with this poem about forgiving fathers. I was looking for such a thing and yesterday saw "Smoke Signals" on dvd. The words "Thank You" come out my mouth. I hope my actions, and they are gawdawful little, demonstrate that I am, to you and the one who still walks on the Earth.
    From Southern California I wish you all the best in this holiday season and as always, always.
    Try and remember Christianity is from a middle eastern desert and not white, american or european.
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